Sneak Up On Your Dreams

Yesterday I finished writing the rough draft of my novel. It’s a little over 65 thousand words and is fourteen chapters long. I’ve had some ideas for this novel on my mind for well over a year, but hadn’t done anything with it even though I’ve been able to write full time since July. The structure of NaNoWriMo was what was needed. These are the lessons I’ve learned from taking on this project and how I hope to structure future projects.

Plan: I first looked up the NaNoWriMo site in the middle of October. I can’t remember exactly where I had heard about it, but I googled it and found it and checked out the rules. It said that I couldn’t write any of the novel before November started, but I could outline to my heart’s content. I always prefer to have a guide for my writing so I started looking for methods of outlining and found one that worked for me. I outlined every part of every scene for the first 9 chapters or so. After that I wasn’t sure where my novel was going to go so I just outlined the basic idea of what I thought would go in the chapter. This worked great. For the first nine chapters I never had to spend too much time thinking about what to write as I could just refer to my outline. After that. I had to spend a day outlining the rest of the chapters, which was much easier once I knew what the characters were up to. Because I had an outline I rarely faced a blank page with few ideas. Lesson: Every time you have a large project to do, take the extra time to map it out and break it into pieces that doesn’t require too much thinking. That way when you get stuck you’ll have your very own cheat sheet to refer to.

Pressure yourself: In the beginning I was high with writing. I wrote long scenes with little effort. I was giddy and wanted to write every day. That didn’t last long. Near the end of the second week I didn’t want to even open Microsoft Word. The weight of my commitment to finishing an entire rough draft of a novel in just 30 days seemed too heavy. I wanted out. After that initial honeymoon there were days that I didn’t write, but there were far more days that I didn’t want to write, but I did anyway because I knew I had the deadline. I don’t think I would have pressured myself if I didn’t have that deadline of getting the whole thing done in November. I would rationalize to myself that I just needed to do a couple thousand words to help move me along so that I’d have less to do in the end. There were some days that I was dead set against writing and had to drag myself to start, but once I’d started I finished a few thousand words. Lesson: Whine and complain all you want, but make a deadline and stick to it whether you want to do it or not. On the worst days do less than you’d like, but at least do some.

Wonder in Amazement: My last few chapters flew by. I could see the end so I wrote a chapter a day for a few days. I had only a couple of scenes left at the end and I just didn’t want to write them. I don’t know if I was actually upset about finishing or I was just too tired of writing. I set up a time in my schedule and went to a local coffee shop and finished them. I was then in a kind of shock that I had actually done exactly what I said I was going to do even though it sucked. The non-sucky part is that I know have a halfway decent rough draft of a novel. I’m going to leave it for a month then give myself the month of January to edit the whole thing. Lesson: Working, even if by self-force, little by little on a project will get you to the end. Sit in amazement at your ability to do something that previously seemed impossible.

Money is somewhat like time, it’s relative.  I know people who make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year and complain of lack of money and others who make far less, who feel like they have lots extra.  From this, I realized that how much money a person owns has little to do with how financially comfortable they feel.  My lesson from this then, in how to live my life, is to find the place where I don’t have to kill myself earning money, but still feel like I have plenty.

My mother, who is a therapist, tells me that a great deal of the way we think about money has to do with what she calls “legacy” meaning how our families before us thought about and dealt with money.  Some families may repeat stories about saving every bit of tin foil and saving every penny as legacies of surviving the depression or even immigration. Other families may spin stories of ancestors having a great idea or getting lucky and earning lots of money.

No matter how distant the current generation is from the people these family stories are about, as long as the stories hold power, all will relate to the stories in some way. Either the current generation may reject them and live in opposition or they will continue to follow the lessons provided by them.

Just having a family legacy of the way money is treated does not mean that anyone is doomed to repeat or even opposed it.  Money is an emotional thing.  It provides security and status and stuff and whatever else you make of it consciously or subconsciously.  The issue is finding a way to decide on your own what you want your relationship to money to be.

First, try to remember all the stories and myths that your family has ever told related to money.  If there are no stories whatsoever, consider how ashamed of money your family may be.  Look then at how your family deals with money themselves. Are they secretive or showy, do they save every penny and deny themselves affordable pleasures or do they rely on credit and not think about the future?  Basically, list in your own head the stories or ideas that your family follows as far as money.

Second, consider how successful their method has been and what you like and don’t like about how others in your family live.  Are there people in your family that you admire financially?  Are there those that just don’t seem to be able to get it together?  Think about what you really want from your money.  If your myths involve getting lucky as the way of getting money, think about how realistic that is.

Third, study a bit of the easily available advice on how to handle money successfully.  Most of what I’ve read involves living below your means, saving money carefully, even if it’s just a small amount and keeping debt to a minimum.  Basically, get a dose of reality to balance out your family stories.

Fourth, create your own future and your own stories. What do you want to have as your family legacy? It may end up being the exact same as your family’s or very different. The important thing is that you make the choice with information.