Sneak Up On Your Dreams

Money is somewhat like time, it’s relative.  I know people who make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year and complain of lack of money and others who make far less, who feel like they have lots extra.  From this, I realized that how much money a person owns has little to do with how financially comfortable they feel.  My lesson from this then, in how to live my life, is to find the place where I don’t have to kill myself earning money, but still feel like I have plenty.

My mother, who is a therapist, tells me that a great deal of the way we think about money has to do with what she calls “legacy” meaning how our families before us thought about and dealt with money.  Some families may repeat stories about saving every bit of tin foil and saving every penny as legacies of surviving the depression or even immigration. Other families may spin stories of ancestors having a great idea or getting lucky and earning lots of money.

No matter how distant the current generation is from the people these family stories are about, as long as the stories hold power, all will relate to the stories in some way. Either the current generation may reject them and live in opposition or they will continue to follow the lessons provided by them.

Just having a family legacy of the way money is treated does not mean that anyone is doomed to repeat or even opposed it.  Money is an emotional thing.  It provides security and status and stuff and whatever else you make of it consciously or subconsciously.  The issue is finding a way to decide on your own what you want your relationship to money to be.

First, try to remember all the stories and myths that your family has ever told related to money.  If there are no stories whatsoever, consider how ashamed of money your family may be.  Look then at how your family deals with money themselves. Are they secretive or showy, do they save every penny and deny themselves affordable pleasures or do they rely on credit and not think about the future?  Basically, list in your own head the stories or ideas that your family follows as far as money.

Second, consider how successful their method has been and what you like and don’t like about how others in your family live.  Are there people in your family that you admire financially?  Are there those that just don’t seem to be able to get it together?  Think about what you really want from your money.  If your myths involve getting lucky as the way of getting money, think about how realistic that is.

Third, study a bit of the easily available advice on how to handle money successfully.  Most of what I’ve read involves living below your means, saving money carefully, even if it’s just a small amount and keeping debt to a minimum.  Basically, get a dose of reality to balance out your family stories.

Fourth, create your own future and your own stories. What do you want to have as your family legacy? It may end up being the exact same as your family’s or very different. The important thing is that you make the choice with information.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 17th, 2008 at 2:15 pm and is filed under Achieving Goals. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.