Sneak Up On Your Dreams

I’m an online college instructor for a junior college.  My students are often people who have had difficulty with high school or college or have gotten sidetracked from education before arriving in my class.  As a first minor assignment, they post their biographies. So many of them relay stories of heading towards finishing high school or college and then getting sidetracked, generally by children or lack of motivation.  They speak of dreams that they wanted, but felt were out of reach once their life veered off the course they had imagined.

My students are generally working to turn that around. They’re refocusing on school and getting their first degree, but there are so many people who feel that once they are off-course, there’s no way to get back on.  One of my students relayed a saying she had heard that the best way to make God laugh is to declare that you have a plan.  I felt sad hearing that, knowing that she took that to mean that she shouldn’t plan and take control of her life because she may hit obstacles (which she attributed to God).  My feeling is that plans are necessary to get you anywhere really worth getting to.  Those obstacles that sidetrack a person are just part of life.  Sometimes they can help.

No one can predict what will happen in the future. People also can’t control other people’s paths and how they will collide with their own.  The point is not to try to roll out a completely nice and smooth path to each goal, but to start the adventure and commit to dealing with whatever obstacles that arise. 

If we commit to living creatively, then the obstacles are seen as parts of the adventure.  They are seen as opportunities to evaluate where we are, where we’re going and what we really want to trade-off to get what we want.  Sometimes these “obstacles” may even be exciting opportunities to get even more than we wanted. They weren’t in our plan, but that doesn’t mean that they are unwanted.

When you find yourself sidetracked, take a break. Figure out what is in front of you.  Are you sidetracking yourself with lack of motivation or fear of something or uncooperative others?  What is the actual obstacle that you need to deal with?

I am finding myself incredibly scattered in trying to follow my dream of developing a writing career. I say I want to do one thing, but then I don’t seem to do it. I can’t seem to figure out how to do it regularly and therefore I just don’t do anything.  This blog was solely a test balloon for other things that I’ve been working on writing for years, but it’s the writing that I’m most committed to and finding the easiest to do. What does that mean?  Should I switch my focus?  Should I try to figure out what is making it more difficult for me to pursue my parenting writing?  I don’t have the answers yet.  Currently, I can just tell that I am somewhat sidetracked.

My questions for myself are how much should I push myself to do what I thought I wanted to do? Do I just need a better schedule or list to help me focus? Do I still want to focus on writing about understanding children’s behavior, but in a different way perhaps?  I’m working on sitting with these questions.

When you feel like you’re sidetracked do the same thing, ask yourself questions. See what creative things you can go to move yourself forward or even back on track if necessary.  Remember that life doesn’t have the same rules as society does.  Maybe other people think you’re too old to go back to school or start a new career or quit your job and travel the world, but are you really?  You can always think creatively and try to come up with ways to do what you want, in spite of what you’re “supposed” to do.

Don’t look at being sidetracked as an evil trick by the devil.  Look at it an opportunity to recognize where you might need to tweak your plans some.  See what you gain from the problems you’ve run into and if necessary take stock of what you need to do to move yourself back on track.

Most people who know me consider me highly organized. I can generally find things that I am looking for and I get things done when they need to be done, or earlier.  I feel, though, that my brain is a mess.  When my environment is cluttered I can hardly work.  I don’t seem to be able to remember much of anything so I have to write everything down.  I feel like I’ve had to force organization upon myself.

I remember hearing as a child that people whose inner selves were organized had messy environments and people’s whose inner selves were disorganized had neat and orderly environments. Although, I don’t quite think that’s true, I can see where the idea comes from. I force so much organization on myself because I don’t feel that I have much internally.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately because in my new daily schedule I can’t get a handle on things.  Considering I always thought I was organized, I am surprised to find myself feeling so unorganized.  I feel that organization is one of the most important skills required to achieve as much as you can in life.  I want to be an organized person. I’m a bit disappointed to find out that I’m not.

My summer schedule has been a mess. I feel constantly distracted and that I’m not getting much accomplished.  I think it’s a good thing, though, for me to realize that I really am not all that internally organized because it can help me push forward and get my external world organized.  Sometimes realizing the truth about a lack of skill is important because it can push you to work harder.  I feel like I can forgive myself a bit for having all my papers in a big pile instead of neatly filed somewhere.

Organization is one of the most important skills to having the most time and ability to do what you want.  You don’t have to be naturally organized, though. There are many people out there now who can help and advise anyone how to organize themselves and their lives better.  Take stock of your own inner abilities and if you’re not fantastically organized already then learn the skills.  Start trying to apply them one by one.